Primary and Secondary Brown Water Glass
Primary and Secondary Brown Water Glass

Our Price: $20.00

Stock Status:(Out of Stock)


Primary and Secondary Brown Water Glass.

Slowly, she began to remove... oh wait, wrong publication. Sorry fellas.

The Primary and Secondary Brown Water Glass is made entirely of a propritery blend of rare earth minerals and compounds, primarily SiO2 and Unobtanium (Fu). We carefully add our patent pending semi-permeable film of Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen to ensure that your beverage is not ravaged by the sun or the cosmic rays from the moon. We have also found our NanoFilm (NoFo) and has the added benefit of providing that oh so subtle smoky flavor to the contents of the glass. Full disclosure - our involuntary taste testers have reported flavors akin to hydraulic fluid, beet juice, and burro wee. After further discussion (some had to be discussed harder than others) they have now happily reported the infused flavor as a unanimous "smoky!".*

We make no warranties written or implied for this item. If turned upright it tends to hold liquid at a consistent rate, but other than that it is on you. We have discovered secondary uses for the Primary and Secondary Brown Water Glass that may be of use to some. When 100mph taped together (we call this "Sentinel Style") they make an outstanding pair of binoculars capable of observing sun spots during the sunniest of days.** When carried in each hand by an end user screeching "DONT SHOOT, IT'S ME!" the glass also acts as positive IFF (available in party packs of 100 for those larger teams). The Brown Water Glass also makes an excellent glass-breaker when thrown at a brick wall.*

Primary and Secondary logo on one side only.

*none of these statements are true
** DO NOT do this. It is a sad state of affairs that we actually have to state it

However, this is true: AT takes zero profits from the sale of these glasses. 100 percent of the net goes directly back to support the Primary and Secondary LLC network's operating costs.

These glasses are handled by the engraver so they will have finger prints, packing residue etc. Wash or don't wash, your choice. I'm not going to put my laws on your body. It is your colon, do with it what you will.

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